I don't know you anymore...You've changed

Originally posted on May 21, 2006

 Obi-Wan was right...You've changed...I don't know you anymore. Anakin, you're breaking my heart. Padme' to Anakin, ROTS

I've been thinking about this for a few days now, since a blog by viagoangel2 about the blinding nature of love. This blindness runs true in Star Wars and in real life. My comments on this blog were:

Love can blind one to so many things...we want to believe that the one we love can do no wrong. This blindness can have dire consequences, as it truly does have here in the saga...The people of the galaxy saw [Anakin], as you said, as the "Hero with NO fear." This is a big expectation to live up to. Nobody truly knew Anakin, the person, except for maybe Padme'. But...does anyone truly know anyone else? I think that is the bigger question, and what leads us to be blinded to others...that is, in addition to the blindness created by love.

But...does anyone truly know anyone else?

This is the question that I have been thinking about more since I originally posted it. So...just how well do we really know the people in our lives? Further, how well do we really know ourselves? (Now I feel like Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and the City   ) I think we all put on different facades depending on where we are or who we are with...we put forth the "face" that others come to know. Whether we are out in public (alone or with others), with friends, with family, with co-workers, or at home alone, we can readily change how we portray ourselves. I know that, although I try to remain "true" to myself and who I am, I often find myself showing a different "face" of my personality depending on who I'm with and where I am--my family knows one side of me, my friends another, and my co-workers yet another.

The situation often dictates what I let others "see." Just recently a co-worker of mine got married, and we (a group of fellow co-workers) threw her a bridal shower/bachelorette party. I surprised some by the gift I chose for her (some lingere) and by how open I was in later discussions--these co-workers said they always thought I was more "conservative" and "quiet," and that they enjoyed getting to know me a little more. I was equally surprised by a few of my co-workers, and also enjoyed getting to know them a little more. Last summer, I attended my High School Class' 10 year reunion...an event I was looking forward to. It is amazing how people change after being away from them so long, people you essentially "grew up" with. For me, it was an awakening. I knew that I had changed, mostly for the better, since attending college and entering my line of work. People who knew me in High School recognized me physically. However, as I was told by many, they did not recognize me personality-wise...I had become more out-going and not as afraid to take a risk as I used to be, and I thank my "real world" experiences for these changes. These are just two incidences of allowing the situation to dictate how I allow others to see me...and how their perceptions changed after spending time together outside of the "usual" environment.

Now to the Star Wars part of this discussion:

Did Padme' really know Anakin?

This is another question that came up in the blog discussion. As I replied...
Nobody truly knew Anakin, the person, except for maybe Padme'. Here, I was trying to allude to the fact that she knew him the most of everyone in his life, but maybe not as well as she should have. They met when they were still "kids:" she 14 y/o, he 9 y/o; she a "handmaiden", he a slave; she a Queen, he a newly "named" Jedi padawan. They reconnected ten years later, after both had grown both in age/maturity and in their "professional" lives: she how 24 y/o, he 19 y/o; she a Senator, he a Jedi (although still a padawan), she in need of protection from assassins, he assigned to protect her. Their love for one another grew during their time together, culminating in marriage. During the next three years, the Clone Wars kept them apart...she continuing her Senatorial duties, he continuing his Jedi duties. They barely saw each other during this time, save for the brief periods he was in the capital. He returns from the Outer Rim Seiges to "rescue" the "kidnapped" Chancellor, his mentor, and receives the news that he is going to be a father. When he came back, he wanted everything to be the way it used to, but she changed...she was pregnant.

Throughout the ensuing days, Anakin became more and more troubled, namely the result of his nightmares about her dying in childbirth. He was afraid to lose her...and he really didn't know to whom he should turn for help. He conveys his fears to her following the "nightmare," the "vision"...but she asks do you think Obi-Wan might be able to help?, to which he promptly replies we don't need his help. He then tries talking to Yoda...but is told to train [himself] to let go of everything [he fears] to lose, something he knows he cannot do. He continues searching for answers to these dreams...and Palpatine provides a "suggestion" on a way to save the ones he cares about from dying through the help of the Dark Side of the Force. Now Anakin is "hooked"--he has to find out how this "power" is achieved...but can only access the archives related to this by obtaining the rank of Master, a title he is promptly denied. When he talks with Padme' about feeling lost, she really didn't seem to understand why he was saying this. She tried to comfort him the only way she knew how, hoping it would work like it always had. However, this did not work this time...and he "found" what he needed through Palpatine, and pledged himself to the Dark Side teachings, just so that he could save Padme', the one he could not live without.

we want to believe that the one we love can do no wrong.

This is what Padme' wanted to believe. Until the very end, she held out hope that he would listen to her and follow her to wherever she would go. As she watched the Temple burn, she wanted to believe that Anakin was ok and that he was not involved in what was happening there. When Obi-Wan confronted her with what he saw on the security hologram, she did not want to believe him, saying you're wrong...he couldn't. When she confronted Anakin on Mustafar, she could not believe what she heard coming from his mouth. It was at this point that she knew that he had changed, that he really had committed the atrocities she feared, and that things would never be the same...even as she tried to "coax" him back to the light, to leave everything else behind...to help [her] raise their child. In the end, Vader won out over Anakin...and ruled the galaxy until Luke, Padme' and Anakin's son, "coaxed" Anakin back from the Dark, forgiving him for all the wrong he had done.

Thoughts...anyone? MTFBWY