Originally posted on October 3, 2006
What's wrong. You're trembling. Anakin to Padme', ROTS
Something wonderful has happened. Ani, I'm pregnant. Padme' to Anakin, ROTS
That's...that's wonderful. Anakin
What are we going to do? Padme'
We're not going to do anything right now. This is a happy momemt. The happiest moment of my life. Anakin
I have been thinking about this entry now for quite a while, but have been unable to put my thoughts into something that would make sense. However, as I was at a baby shower this weekend, my mind started to work, and that got me to thinking more about this. As we know, the expectation of a baby is a happy moment for most parents. The time from confirmation of the preganacy to the arrival of the baby is one filled with many emotions...shock, happiness, excitement, anxiety, anticipation, etc. Dreams of what the baby will look like, what the baby will do, how the baby will grow all start to develop. By the time the baby arrives in the world, most parents have formed a bond with the child and have a sense of their expectations for the child. Most of the time, the baby arrives without any complications...but that is not always the case. I have worked with premature infants, infants born with such problems as heart defects that may or may not have been detected before birth, children who have developmental problems stemming from an incident during birth, and children who sustained injuries at the hands of their parents or other caregivers. For those whose children are not "perfect," the excitement of childbirth suddenly becomes a time of grief...they are grieving for the "loss" of their "perfect child," for the loss of all their dreams and aspirations. The timing of a pregnancy also has an impact on the acceptance by a parent. For some, the timing is "right"...both parents are at a place in their lives where they are ready for children, where they can support a family. For others, the timing is "wrong"...they are not ready for children, they do not want chidren, or they simply cannot provide for a family.
Now what does all of this have to do with Star Wars, and Anakin and Padme' specifically? Well...Padme' had always wanted a family of her own. She adored her two nieces, and could not wait for the day she had children of her own. However, she was always putting her work and her people above herself...she could not see how life in politics and a family would work together. I am not sure how much Anakin wanted to have a family...I have not seen too much describing this. However, it has been brought to my attention in the past that, in one of the EU novels, Anakin had discovered that a Jedi Master had a wife and family of his own, and could not wait to share this information with Padme'. I wonder...did Anakin's "want" for a family start with this discovery . From what I understand, this happened around the time Luke and Leia were conceived. So...it would beg to suggest that, at least subconsciously, Anakin also wanted a family.
As we all know, the Clone Wars were in "full force" (no pun intended ) at this time, and Anakin and Padme' had little time to be together, to discuss their desires for a family. Times were trying for both...and the expectation of a "new baby" added to this. Padme' was worried about what the news of this would do to both of their careers...would she still be able to serve in the Senate, would Anakin still be able to remain a Jedi, and what would the citizens of the galaxy think? How would Anakin react to the news of the pregnancy...would he be happy, upset, indifferent? Thankfully, Anakin, after overcoming the initial shock, reacted with happiness...even saying that *this is a happy moment...the happiest moment of my life.*
But why was this particular moment the happiest? Was marrying the love of his life at least one of the happiest moments, was escaping the "clutches" of Watto one of them? I just wonder how miserable Anakin had been since leaving Tatooine at 9 years of age...could nothing but the thought of having a family of his own break this cycle of unhappiness? If that is what it takes, then I am happy for him. At least for a brief time, all was well with the *galaxy*, and Anakin was happy once more .
After seeing things this way, I now think that his nightmares about Padme' dying in childbirth were an extension of his anxiety over this change in his life. He always awoke before the baby's "destiny" was determined...so he appeared to be more concerned over what would happen to Padme' than the child. However, he essentially did not have the time to "accept" the child that Padme' had, so his concerns about her were warranted. Saving Padme' would allow him to keep the love of his life and would allow him to have the family he would grow to love. Unfortunately, he could not see past his failure to save his mother, so he sought help from the one he trusted, the one who offered the promise to prevent death.
As always...comments are welcome
May the Force Be With You All
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