What's bothering you? Padme' to Anakin, ROTS
Nothing. Anakin to Padme', ROTS
Don't do this. Don't shut me out...let me help you. Padme'
Hello everyone!! I realized the other day that it had been a while since I have written a new entry. I had been suffering from a major case of *blog block* and could not put my thoughts into words. However, after a weekend with some good friends (AS1, MO2YP, and VA2), I have been able to come up with something So, without further ado...
As we all should know, this dialogue occurred between Anakin and Padme' after Obi-Wan had informed Anakin that his next assignment was to spy on Palpatine. He did not tell Padme' what had happened, but he did verbalize his growing mistrust of the Jedi Order...*sometimes I wonder what's happening to the Jedi Order. I think this war is destroying the principles of the Republic.* When Padme' suggested that *we may be on the wrong side,* and went on to clarify *what if the Democracy we thought we were serving no longer exists...and the Republic has become the very evil we've been fighting to destroy,* Anakin accused her of sounding like a Separatist. He lashed out, and she did not understand this. She wanted to help him, but did not know how to do so. She reached out by pleading with him to not shut her out, to let her in, to allow her to help him. He held her in his arms, but did not let her in. He always wanted to be the one to help others, but when it came to others helping him, he did not want it. So this begs me to ask...what was it about being helped that Anakin despised?
Let us back up a bit to the nightmare scene. Anakin told Padme' about what he saw, her dying in childbirth, and that he did not know exactly what that meant. Padme' said to him *do you think Obi-Wan might be able to help us,* to which he promptly replied *we don't need his help.*
At first, this seemed to me that Anakin did not want Obi-Wan's help because he (Ani) did not want him (Obi) to know about his secret. However, the more I looked at it, the more I thought that Anakin wanted to do things himself...to prove that he was a man who could provide for his family without any outside help. After all, he had become known as the *Hero With No Fear.* What would that say to the galaxy if he sought help for something he could do himself? He did not want to appear weak or needy...he wanted to figure things out for himself. He did not want to fail Padme' like he felt he did with his mother...with his gravesite promise to her to not fail again. He wanted to search for the answers himself...with some input from those he trusted, namely Yoda and Palpatine, but never Obi-Wan.
Anakin sought Yoda's advise about these premonitions, but never came out and said exactly what it was that was bothering him. Anakin wanted answers and a solution to his nightmares. However, Yoda told him to *let go of everything you fear to lose,* which was the Jedi way of dealing with attachments. During this time, Palpatine began to sense what was bothering Anakin, and tried to lure him to the Dark Side with tales of cheating death. Anakin never really told Palps what was troubling him, but he (Palps) knew without asking...and used Padme's *certain death* as a way to "seal the deal."
The one person outside of the Jedi and Padme' that Anakin trusted most was offering him a way to save his love...to prevent her death. To do this, he must turn on those closest to him and give in to his anger, frustration, and even his hatred. Initially, he hesitated...as evidenced by the Opera scene and when Palpatine reveals himself as the Sith Lord the Jedi had been hunting. He was starting to doubt those around him and was being torn in many different directions...hence the statement, *I feel lost*. He wanted to stay in the Light, but knew that doing so would mean losing his love, Padme'. However, turning to the Dark, ironically, also meant not only losing his friends and mentors, but also his love, Padme'. Had he sought Obi-Wan's help, maybe things would have been different...maybe Padme' would have lived and the Jedi would have realized that change was needed. Sadly, this did not happen.
What are your thoughts on why Anakin never wanted to seek help? As always, comments are welcome
May The Force Be With You All...Always
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