To Be or Not to Be...

Originally posted on June 30, 2008

For over a thousand generations the Jedi Knights were guardians of peace and justice in the Old Republic...before the Dark Times...before the Empire--Obi-Wan Kenobi, Ep IV

Words spoken by one of the last remaining Jedi Knights of old...Obi-Wan Kenobi. Ironically, these words were spoken to the son of former Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker...Luke. All Luke wanted was to know more about his father, whom he thought was a pilot on a spice freighter...but soon discovered that he was really a Jedi Knight. I can only imagine the thought going through Luke's head at that moment...Jedi Knights...weren't they traitorous to the Empire...weren't they what led to the fall of the Old Republic? Sitting and talking with a Jedi Knight was sure to dispell some of those misconceptions for Luke...especially as time passed and he realized the true nature of the Force and what it was to be a Jedi.

Who exactly were these Jedi Knights...besides the guardians of peace and justice. What kind of training did these Jedi Knights undergo to obtain and maintain their title? Well...the Jedi Knights were beings from across the galaxy who underwent years of vigorous training. To become a Knight in the Jedi Order, one must have the deepest commitment...as the life is not an easy one. In the days of the Old Republic, the Jedi would search the galaxy for infants exhibiting strong Force potential...these infants would be brought back to the Temple and undergo years of training, moving through the ranks of youngling to padawan to Knight to Master. Next to being a Master, the rank of Jedi Knight was one of the most independent (relatively speaking) positions within the Order. As a Knight, a Jedi had the freedom to come and go from the temple as he or she pleased. As a Knight, a Jedi no longer had to report to his or her Master...to account for his or her whereabouts or actions.

For many Jedi, the attainment of Knighthood was the culmination of years of hard work and discipline...with the attainment of Master often taking many more years beyond that. However, for some Jedi, becoming a Knight was not enough. Take Anakin for example...he attained Jedi Knighthood in an unconventional way...during wartime and under great need for more knights throughout the galaxy. Although this was a great achievement for Anakin, Jedi Knighthood should have been a huge stepping stone for Masterhood...but it was not. The Council maintained Anakin's status as a Jedi Knight despite his appointment to the Council by Palpatine...a huge blow to his ego. He wanted to be a Master...namely to obtain access to the "Master's Only" section of the Archives...but he was being held to the rank of Jedi Knight until the Masters could trust him. Ironic, though, that in a time where deceit was rampant, the Jedi should have placed a bit more trust in this Knight...or at least have given him more support.

Enough on that, as I have discussed that before...the Jedi Knights *were* the guardians of peace and justice in the Old Republic. Too bad Palpatine had to take advantage of the trusting nature of the Jedi and use Anakin, now Vader, to help destroy the Jedi Knights. Only a couple of decades later did Palpatine meet his demise...when then Jedi Knight Luke Skywalker helped his father to return to the light and destroy the Emperor.

A Still Moment in a Galaxy Far, Far Away...

Originally posted on January 21, 2008


There is much fear in you...Skywalker. You have hate; you have anger...but you don't use them. Dooku to Anakin (ROTS)

I can feel your anger. It gives you focus...makes you powerful. Palpatine to Anakin (ROTS)

I hate you!! Anakin/Vader to Obi-Wan (ROTS)

 You were my brother...I loved you.Obi-Wan to Anakin/Vader (ROTS)

OK...you may be wondering *what is she talking about here?!*   Well, I am referring to this particular *Still Moment in a Galaxy Far, Far Away..*







The *Battle of Heroes,* Anakin versus Obi-Wan, one of the most important battles of our beloved saga, was much more than just a battle between the two people we see on the screen. This was a battle between Anakin and Vader...a *Hero's Battle* of sorts. Anakin was always full of passion...a passion that allowed him to be the Jedi he was. It motivated him to do things throughout his entire life. As the Dark Side clouded the minds of the citizens of the Old Republic, it added fuel to Anakin's fire. His passion, his "hatred and anger," allowed him to be successful in battle. He channeled these Dark Side emotions when confronting an opponent...and was successful. However, as per the Jedi Code, use of the Dark Side was discouraged, as the powers were considered *unnatural*. But Anakin had fueled these emotions, these feelings, all his life. It was what made him...him.

As Anakin faced Obi-Wan, a fire was ignited within. He was now Darth Vader, a Sith Lord, one who was "all-powerful." Nobody could stop him...not Obi-Wan, not Palpatine, not even himself. He felt invincible...ignited by an energy for which he had long desired. Not even the river of hot lava below him could stop him.

But, just as the passion burned inside, so did the fire that fueled it. Anakin's passion was so strong that he would eventually get burned...and he did. He let his, well, arrogance get the best of him (as much as I hate to admit that  ). The previously feeling of invincibility was cut short by those he thought could not do so...namely Obi-Wan and himself. Obi-Wan may have literally cut him down, but the continued fire that fueled the hatred toward this one-time mentor...brother...essentially led to him erupting in flames. The angrier he became, the faster he burned. But...out of that hatred and anger came a plea for help...a subtle change of expression that indicated that Anakin was still there...that he had not been completely lost to the Dark Side. However...Obi-Wan turned, picked up Anakin's lightsaber, and walked away...leaving him to breed even more hate and anger toward those he once loved.

Backing up to Dooku's words to Anakin...he just may have been on to something. Sure, it was a ploy to bring Anakin closer to the Dark Side. However, as one of my good friends pointed out the other night, we all have anger and hatred within us. Sometimes we allow it to surface, but most of us know how to work through it. Anakin, however, always had to suppress that, and was never really taught the proper way of working through it. As a slave on Tatooine, he had to control his reactions or risk punishment by Watto. As a Jedi, he was taught to control his emotions and channel them through the Force. He was never really allowed to just "be"...to work through his emotions and conflicts. We all know what happened when Anakin was finally pushed over the edge on which he was so tediously balancing...he lost everything and everyone near and dear to him.

*Santa Anakin*

Originally posted on December 18, 2007

Hello there blogsville!! 

After yesterday's BFD festivities, I thought I would make a contribution as well. Actually, I decided to try my hand a writing a parody...hopefully it came out ok.   Just let me tell you, though...this is way more difficult than I could have imagined, and you probably will not see another form me for a looooong time. My hat, errr headpiece  , goes off to all of you who are able to write these parodies and limericks.

This is to the tune "Santa Baby"...a song I just cannot get out of my head!!

Santa Ani, slip a starship under the tree...for me.
I've been an awful good girl.
Santa Ani so hurry out of hyperspace tonight.

Santa Ani, an Old Republic Jedi Starfighter, light yellow...
And I'll wait up for you, dear.
Santa Ani, so hurry out of hyperspace tonight.

Think of all the fun I missed
Think of all the Jedi that I haven't kissed
Next year I can be just as good
If you check off my BFD list.

Santa Ani, I want a droid,
Really to fill a void
I've been an angel all year
Santa Ani, so hurry out of hyperspace tonight.

Santa Ani, there's something I really do need,
The deed, to the Lake Retreat house
Santa Ani, so hurry out of hyperspace tonight.

Santa Ani, fill my stocking with lots of treats, and meet
Me underneath the mistletoe
Santa Ani, so hurry out of hyperspace tonight.

Come and trim my BFD tree
With some decorations found at the Royal Palace
I really do believe in you
Let's see if you believe in me

Santa Ani, forgot to mention one little thing, a ring
And I don't mean through the Holo
Santa Ani, so hurry out of hyperspace tonight

Santa Ani...hurry out of hyperspace tonight
Santa Ani...hurry out of hyperspace tonight
Santa Ani...hurry...tonight....


I hope you all enjoyed this little rendition of mine  and that you are having a wonderful BFD week here on the blogs

Dark and Difficult Times Lie Ahead...Advice from an Old...Wizard?

Originally posted on November 29. 2007

Hello everyone in blogsville. I realized last week when I was writing my entry summarizing my trip to Chicago to see the Where Science Meets Imagination exhibit that it had been quite some time since I had written an entry not related to a trip, event, or costuming experience. In other words, I have not written an entry related to my thoughts and ponderings on the Star Wars universe since sometime before Celebration IV.   

I have been thinking about this entry for some time now, having started writing it at one point but stopping completely because I did not like the direction it was taking. So, I took a break from it...a longer-than-expected break at that...and decided that it was now time to give this another try.

Several months back, I was watching the movie Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, when a line spoken by Dumbledore to Harry struck me as so very appropriate to the Prequel era of our beloved saga. It really got me to thinking how things would have turned out differently if Obi-Wan had uttered these words to Anakin...how the GFFA would have fared had Anakin listened to Obi-Wan instead of what to his own thoughts/fears and to Palpatine.

By now you are probably wondering to which line I am referring. Well, this line would be...**Dark and difficult times lie ahead. Soon we must all choose between what is right and what is easy**. Kind of chilling, huh? The first several times I saw Goblet of Fire, I paid little attention to this particular line. For some reason, this one time I noticed the line and was struck with the idea to put it in a blog...and have struggled with it since.

I am not going to get into the nitty-gritty details of the Harry Potter series, but those of us who know the story know what path he chose...he chose to fight, to take the more difficult road. He trusted Dumbledore to help him down the right path to do what must be done.

The same cannot be said for Anakin, however  ...he chose the easier, more seductive path of the Dark Side. For some reason he did not fully trust Obi-Wan, or himself for that matter, to guide him through these difficult times...he decided to listen to his fears and the promises Palpatine made to him. He let his fears and insecurities take over his rationality to the point he refused to stay patient long enough to accomplish his goals/desires the *right* way...the Jedi way.

At the same time Anakin was engulfed in his personal turmoil, the galaxy was undergoing a turmoil of its own...created by none other than Palpatine himself. Residents of the GFFA were looking to their leader for guidance, trusting in his judgment. Only a few select Senators, including Padmé, were willing to fight for Democracy, for a peaceful resolution to the war. The others, however, were willing to go along with whatever Palpatine decided was best for the galaxy...and we all know where that got them

They (the Senators), like Anakin, were willing to take the quick and easy path, with the gravest of results: the dark times had arrived and would engulf the galaxy for the next twenty-plus years. Luckily, Luke, one of two beacons of hope for the galaxy, was able to overcome his temptations and turned the tide back to the Light and saved the galaxy from those dark and difficult times.

Like our heroes from the GFFA, we all face dark and difficult times at various points in our lives. Sometimes we take the more difficult route and work through them, while at other times we may take the easier route and give in to the temptation. If these easier routes lead us further down that dark path, we hopefully are able to overcome this, learn from our choices/mistakes, and use the lessons from these experiences the next time we are faced with a difficult situation. Sometimes we can work through these situations ourselves, but, most of the time we need support and guidance from mentors and friends. Maybe that is why Luke was successful where Anakin was not...the strong presence of mentors and friends. At least that is what I like to think.

Would things have turned out differently in the GFFA had Anakin taken the time to listen to what Obi-Wan, Yoda, and the others had to say rather than giving in to his fears/insecurities and the promises uttered by Palpatine? If Anakin had had a mentor he truly trusted, as Harry did, would darkness have enveloped the galaxy for two decades? I tend to think things would have been greatly different...in many ways.

However, I want to hear what you all have to think about this before I reveal my thoughts...would things have been different; how would things have been different? Does having a good/strong mentor and great friends help one to overcome the difficult times, the darkness?

I hope everyone is having a safe and happy Holiday season so far. I look forward to reading about what you all have to say

May the Force Be With You...Always

Always an Apprentice...Never a Master

Originally posted on April 12, 2007

A little over a week ago, my friend Hansgirl3 wrote a wonderful entry about the final duel between Luke and Vader in ROTJ. In this, she discussed how Vader was protecting Luke from the same mistakes he had made...and how he was finally able to make that decision to break the chains of the Dark Side and return to the Light as Anakin. This got me to thinking about Anakin and his life...from the little boy on Tatooine to the grown Jedi Padawan to the Galactic Hero. In essence, he truly never had complete control over his life...he was, in some way, *always an Apprentice, but never a Master*. It took the love of his son, the product of the love between him and Padme', to make him realize that he could, essentially, control his destiny...and become a Master of his life. 

As a slave on Tatooine, Anakin had little control over his life...he answered to Watto, or whoever was his Master at the time. When Qui-Gon, Padme' and crew embarked on the desolate planet, hope for a better life for him was a possibility. Although he "won" his freedom in the podrace, the choice to leave was never fully his, as he thought he did what was right for both him and his mother. Once permission was granted for Obi-Wan to train him, Anakin was, once again, a "slave" of sorts...he was a Jedi Padawan, swearing an oath to serve and protect the galaxy, being apprenticed to a Jedi Knight for his training. For years Anakin trained under Obi-Wan, waiting for the day he could face the trials and become a Knight...a Jedi with a little more freedom. However, the Jedi Council had the final say in whether and when he would achieve this status, so it was another "waiting game." Finally, the day came when he was granted Knighthood.

Although he reached Knighthood, Anakin wanted nothing more than to become a Master...an honor of which he felt he deserved. It was another "waiting game" with the Council, and Anakin became impatient...especially after he learned that there was a way to save Padme'. Sadly the information was restricted to those with Master status. Then, Palpatine "pounced" on a vulnerable Anakin, offering the promise of preventing death...but only through learning the ways of the Dark Side.

This promise of *more* just lured Anakin further toward the Dark...until he finally gave in and said *I pledge myself to your teachings.* Again, Anakin became an apprentice...just when he was so close to obtaining Master status with the Jedi. Now, however, he would find it more difficult to be a Master of the Dark...not with Palps in power/control. He realized that he was completely dependent on Palps for survival and there was nothing he could do. Hope was lost...until Luke reappeared in his life.

Luke...a symbol of hope, of love, of a life thought lost long ago. The wall Vader built around the life that was Anakin began to crumble, and Anakin began to re-emerge. Although Vader said to Luke *it is too late for me, son,* he (Vader) must have realized that there may still be a glimmer of hope for him. When he saw his son going down the path he once did, Anakin could no longer stand back...he blocked Luke from striking down Palps and, therefore, from going down that dark path. When he witnessed Luke standing ground against Palps despite the "promise" of certain death, Anakin could not just stand by any longer and watch another part of him be destroyed. He resurfaced to save his son, a symbol of his love, and suffered in the process. Not all was lost, though...Anakin gained control of his life for the first time, and became his own *Master.*

Any thoughts? Hopefully I made some sense, as I have been up all night working.


Have a wonderful day...and May the Force Be With You All

The Power of Two

Originally posted on March 23, 2007

We must take them somewhere where the Sith will not feel their presence. Obi-Wan, ROTS

Split up they should be. Yoda, ROTS

To protect you both from your father, you were hidden from him when you were born. The Emperor knew, as I did, that, if Anakin were to have any offspring...they would be a threat to him. Obi-Wan to Luke, ROTJ

Hello everyone out there in blogsville  It has been quite a while since I have blogged  , but I am back today!! Real life has its way of preventing one from spending time doing things that used to fit in one's schedule. I have been busy at work and with working on my costumes for CIV, but I could not pass up the opportunity to write an entry for Anakin Week

I noticed something not too long ago while watching the saga on HBO...and it sort of ties in with the lines mentioned above. It seems, to me, that Obi-Wan and Yoda were on to something when they discussed *splitting up* the twins after they were born. Could they have known that, if Luke and Leia were to remain together, that Anakin/Vader would be able to sense their presence and seek them out and do who knows what? And, when Obi-Wan mentioned that *the Emperor knew, as I did, that if Anakin were to have any offspring, they would be a threat to him,* about whom was he speaking, really...Palpatine or Anakin? Was the *power of two* together greater than the *power of two* separated? And did this power help Anakin to feel the power of lost love and break the chains of the Dark Side and destroy all Palpating had worked for?

Throughout the OT, Vader was able to sense the presence of Force-sensitive/powerful beings (i.e. Obi-Wan on the first Death Star). However, when it came to sensing Luke and Leia, it appeared that he best sensed their presence when they were together. I am sure that, in ANH, that Obi-Wan's Force presence was so much more powerful than either Luke or Leia's that Vader was more in-tune with him than with the twins. Yes, he said *the Force is strong with this one* when Luke was about to destroy the Death Star...but Obi-Wan was also helping Luke through the Force.

As I continued to watch the OT through ESB and ROTJ, I started to notice something...Vader was most in-tune with sensing what he thought to be Luke's presence when he was with Leia. Think about it...both twins were on Hoth when Vader was in pursuit; both twins were together when escaping from Bespin; and both twins were together aboard the Imperial shuttle on the way to Endor. During the final battle between father and son aboard the second Death Star, Vader appeared to have a little trouble finding a hiding Luke...although Vader was using the Force at the time. If Vader was truly able to sense Luke's presence through the Force...why could he not have done it at that time? Only when Vader leaned of Luke's *twin sister* and taunted him with the idea of turning her to the Dark Side did Luke reveal his hide-out, lashing out at Vader with all his might.

Although I know that it was Luke's bravery that helped Anakin come forth once again and destroy the evil that was Palpatine, I cannot help thinking that it was the knowledge of having two children that helped Anakin break free. When Anakin, with his dying breath, said to Luke *tell your sister you were right...,* was he thinking about the love he shared so many years ago with Padme'? It would be nice to think so

I hope I made some sense today...I have been out of practice in writing. What do you all think...was the power of the twins together greater than that of them apart? And was it this power that helped Anakin realize that not all was lost when he turned so many years earlier? Or...am I just full of poodoo

Your thoughts and comments are welcome

Was *One* Really Breaking Into Two?

Originally posted on December 14, 2006

"Obi-Wan was right...you've changed." 
"You're going down a path I can't follow."

Both of these lines were said by Padmé to Anakin on Mustafar. We all know what happened shortly after this conversation...and it still remains one of the saddest moments in the saga for me. I have been thinking about this "break" in our beloved couple for a few weeks now. Not so long ago, I found a video to the song One by Faith Hill detailing the events of Anakin and Padmé's love, and it got me to thinking...was *one* really breaking into *two*?

As my good friend Angel would agree, Anakin and Padmé became *one* when they sealed their love in marriage at the end of AOTC. A war was looming over their heads and their duties to the Republic would be tested; however, they still vowed to love each other, forever, through both good and bad. Over the following three years, they were frequently separated for varying periods of time, primarily a result of Anakin's duty to the Jedi Order. They spent as much time together as they could, given the circumstances...but was that enough to sustain them as a couple, as individuals?

When they were reunited in ROTS, everything appeared to be going well between them...Anakin was home, Padmé was expecting their child(ren), and it appeared that the war was almost over. However, we soon discovered that the happiness surrounding that reunion would not last...as Anakin began having visions of Padmé's dying in childbirth. He was desperate to save her...and would do anything to keep her alive...even sell his soul to the Dark Side.

Padmé tried to help Anakin with his fears (as I discussed in a recent entry)...but he did not want her help. She wanted nothing more than to reach out to him, to reconnect the way they had *so long ago when there was nothing but our love.* Sadly, nothing she said or did changed things, and Anakin sought help elsewhere. Ironically, the person he turned to, his mentor and friend Palpatine, turned out to be the one person he sound have turned and run away from...and the only person to offer him the promise of cheating death, of saving Padmé. Anakin's pledge to Palpatine and the Dark Side essentially changed him so much that even those closest to him no longer recognized him. The moment Anakin turned on Padmé was the final "dagger" through the heart, so to say...it was what finally "broke" our *one* into *two*.

"I feel lost." Anakin, ROTS

The more I have thought about this song and the relationship between Anakin and Padmé through ROTS, the more I started thinking how this song also related to Anakin and Padmé as individuals. Not only had the Clone Wars changed them as a couple, it also changed them as individuals as it tested them both in different ways...Anakin, for his loyalty to the Jedi, and Padmé, for her loyalty to the Republic, to Democracy. As the War was coming to a close and Palpatine's power was being questioned, members of both the Jedi Order and the Senate were gathering to challenge this power. The Jedi asked Anakin to spy on Palps, while Padmé was meeting with other Senators to discuss plans for what would become the Rebel Alliance. Anakin felt betrayed by the Jedi for being asked to spy for them, while Padmé felt like she was betraying Anakin by discussing such actions with others and not him. They were both being torn between their duties to the Republic and to each other...their lives were splitting into many fragments, and there was nothing they could do about it. Padmé wanted to return to Naboo to try and "fix" things not only between her and Anakin, but also for each other's sanity.

I could go on with this for what would seem like forever...so I will stop now. I would like to hear your thoughts on this. Were Anakin and Padmé, as *one* really breaking into *two,* both as a couple and as individuals, near the close of the Clone Wars?

As always...your comments are welcome.


May The Force Be With You