Don't Shut Me Out...Let Me HELP You

Originally posted on November 30, 2006

What's bothering you? Padme' to Anakin, ROTS

Nothing. Anakin to Padme', ROTS

Don't do this. Don't shut me out...let me help you. Padme'

Hello everyone!! I realized the other day that it had been a while since I have written a new entry. I had been suffering from a major case of *blog block* and could not put my thoughts into words.  However, after a weekend with some good friends (AS1, MO2YP, and VA2), I have been able to come up with something  So, without further ado...

As we all should know, this dialogue occurred between Anakin and Padme' after Obi-Wan had informed Anakin that his next assignment was to spy on Palpatine. He did not tell Padme' what had happened, but he did verbalize his growing mistrust of the Jedi Order...*sometimes I wonder what's happening to the Jedi Order. I think this war is destroying the principles of the Republic.* When Padme' suggested that *we may be on the wrong side,* and went on to clarify *what if the Democracy we thought we were serving no longer exists...and the Republic has become the very evil we've been fighting to destroy,* Anakin accused her of sounding like a Separatist. He lashed out, and she did not understand this. She wanted to help him, but did not know how to do so. She reached out by pleading with him to not shut her out, to let her in, to allow her to help him. He held her in his arms, but did not let her in. He always wanted to be the one to help others, but when it came to others helping him, he did not want it. So this begs me to ask...what was it about being helped that Anakin despised? 

Let us back up a bit to the nightmare scene. Anakin told Padme' about what he saw, her dying in childbirth, and that he did not know exactly what that meant. Padme' said to him *do you think Obi-Wan might be able to help us,* to which he promptly replied *we don't need his help.* 

At first, this seemed to me that Anakin did not want Obi-Wan's help because he (Ani) did not want him (Obi) to know about his secret. However, the more I looked at it, the more I thought that Anakin wanted to do things himself...to prove that he was a man who could provide for his family without any outside help. After all, he had become known as the *Hero With No Fear.* What would that say to the galaxy if he sought help for something he could do himself? He did not want to appear weak or needy...he wanted to figure things out for himself. He did not want to fail Padme' like he felt he did with his mother...with his gravesite promise to her to not fail again. He wanted to search for the answers himself...with some input from those he trusted, namely Yoda and Palpatine, but never Obi-Wan. 

Anakin sought Yoda's advise about these premonitions, but never came out and said exactly what it was that was bothering him. Anakin wanted answers and a solution to his nightmares. However, Yoda told him to *let go of everything you fear to lose,* which was the Jedi way of dealing with attachments. During this time, Palpatine began to sense what was bothering Anakin, and tried to lure him to the Dark Side with tales of cheating death. Anakin never really told Palps what was troubling him, but he (Palps) knew without asking...and used Padme's *certain death* as a way to "seal the deal." 

The one person outside of the Jedi and Padme' that Anakin trusted most was offering him a way to save his love...to prevent her death. To do this, he must turn on those closest to him and give in to his anger, frustration, and even his hatred. Initially, he hesitated...as evidenced by the Opera scene and when Palpatine reveals himself as the Sith Lord the Jedi had been hunting. He was starting to doubt those around him and was being torn in many different directions...hence the statement, *I feel lost*. He wanted to stay in the Light, but knew that doing so would mean losing his love, Padme'. However, turning to the Dark, ironically, also meant not only losing his friends and mentors, but also his love, Padme'. Had he sought Obi-Wan's help, maybe things would have been different...maybe Padme' would have lived and the Jedi would have realized that change was needed. Sadly, this did not happen.  

What are your thoughts on why Anakin never wanted to seek help? As always, comments are welcome  

May The Force Be With You All...Always 

His Compassion for You Will Be His Undoing

Originally posted on October 26, 2006

His compassion for you will be his undoing. Palpatine to Vader, ROTJ

I have been thinking about this line for a while, and a recent entry by FAN4YRS inspired me to organize and complete my thoughts. Now, Emperor Palpatine, who we all know as the "Master Sith Lord," did not believe in compassion or, for that matter, in unconditional love. During the PT era, we saw him gaining power and influence over the galaxy. Sure, he had passion for what he was doing, but did he really ever have compassion? Did he truly understand what that meant? My guess is no.

Enter Anakin Skywalker...at first, a young boy with love for his mother and then a man with love for Padme'. His statement to Padme' on the transport to Naboo was this: *Attachments...forbidden. Possessions...forbidden. Compassion, which I would refer to as unconditional love, is essential to a Jedi's life. So you might say we are encouraged to love.* Anakin understood the importance of compassion and love, but that was contradictory to the Jedi beliefs of no attachments, no love. He was expected to "bury" these feelings, to control them, to channel them to the Force. However, he could not do that...being taken by the Jedi at an older age, having known compassion and unconditional love from his mother. He did not get those feelings from the Jedi...he got them from Padme'. When visions of her dying in childbirth began haunting him, he could not sit idly by and watch them transpire. He did what he thought was right...turining to Palpatine for help. He let his compassion and love for Padme' to cloud his vision of what was right and what was wrong...and the power he gained from giving in to his fears, his hatred, only clouded this even more.

Fast forward to ANH, where we meet Luke, Anakin's son. He was taken in by his aunt and uncle, Anakin's step-brother and his wife, on Tatooine following the rise of the Empire. They did not have to do this, but they did...and I am sure that they showed him the compassion and unconditional love parents give to their children. They wanted nothing more than to ensure his safety and his innocense...to protect him from the truth of his father's true identity. Once the Emprie hit too close to home for Luke, he turned to Ben...Anakin's former mentor...for guidance.

Throughout the OT, the influence of compassion and unconditional love on Luke are apparent...he puts his heart out there, risking rejection, in the hopes of acceptance. He finds that acceptance, that compassion, in Han, Chewie, Leia, and, eventually, Lando. He forms bonds with these individuals that cannot be broken, and they are there for him in times of need. When the truth of his father's identity becomes known, Luke slowly begins to accept it. Padme's dying words of *there is still good in him* begin to surface, and Luke starts to believe in Anakin. Luke begins to love Anakin...unconditionally.   He sets out to *save* Anakin from the Dark...to turn him back to the Light...despite others' hesitation to believe that the good is there.

In the end, Luke was able to save Anakin...not through fighting Palpatine or totally giving in to his hatred...but through love, the unconditional love he had developed for his father, Anakin  . To quote FAN4YRS: *His father, Anakin Skywalker locked inside the Darth Vader carcass, could stand no more, and destroyed the Emperor, the embodient of hate, predjuice, and evil, to save his son, who, towards Anakin, was nothing but love.* I could not agree more with this statement. It is the essence of what occurred on that second Death Star...and the reason Anakin resurfaced. So what was the "lesson" to be learned by Palpatine? Do not underestimate the power of compassion...or what should be known as unconditional love.

As always comments are welcome

May The Force Be With You All

I Would Be More Concerned About Her Doing Something...Than Him

Originally posted on October 20, 2006

I sure hope he doesn't try anything foolish. Obi-Wan to Captain Typho, AOTC
I would be more concerned about her doing something...than him. Typho to Obi-Wan 



I got to thinking about this last week while watching AOTC. These words, as we all should know, were spoken between Obi-Wan and Captain Typho just prior to the departure of Anakin and Padme' for Naboo. Obi-Wan, having been Anakin's teacher for the past ten years, knew what his apprentice was capable of doing when left to his own devices. He was concerned for Anakin, since protecting Padme' was his first independent assignment. He knew what had been troubling Anakin...the visions of his mother's suffering, his unspoken love and desire for Padme'...and was rightfully worried about the mission. But...what does Captain Typho know about Padme' that Obi-Wan does not?

Typho had essentially been a part of Padme's "Royal Guard" since her reign as Queen of Naboo. He knew what she was capable of doing in the name of any cause in which she believed. She surprised Palpatine and the Trade Federation during the blockade in TPM...nobody expected her to successfully "pull off" both the diversion battle and the battle in the capitol. She remained in an active role in the galaxy following her term as Queen by agreeing to serve as the Senator from Naboo. She fought for what she believed in, and that was Democracy. She became a trusted voice within the Galactic Senate, and she would have done anything to maintain relative peace in the Republic.

So was this what Typho was referring to with his statement to Obi-Wan...Padme's known unpredictability and her determination? Or was there something else he knew about our beloved heroine? Did he know of her desire for a family of her own? Did he know about the feelings she was developing for Anakin?

We all know that the more time Padme' spent with Anakin, the deeper her feelings for him became (the AOTC novelization goes into more detail than the movie about this). She also wanted to ensure his "mission" to protect her was not compromised in any way. When Anakin tells her of his nightmares about his mother and of his need to save her, Padme' insisted that she accompany him. When news of Obi-Wan's capture on Geonosis reached them on Tatooine, she insisted they go to rescue him, despite Anakin's reservations. When they became captured and sentenced to death as well, she declared her love for him. Now, Anakin had a *purpose* for living...the one he had thought about, dreamed about for ten years, had given in to her feelings and said that she loved him. The determination to survive the execution after this declaraion was ever so apparent during this scene. She, in turn, was as equally determined to survive...and they all made it through in the end. When all was said and done, Anakin and Padme' sealed their love, their fate, their vows of marriage, with a kiss.

Could this have been what Captain Tyhpo was suggesting with that one simple statement to Obi-Wan that day? Could there have been more to our beloved heroine than we were led to believe? As a woman, I know what we can truly wish to happen, no matter what may be going on in our own lives that may prevent those wishes from coming true. Could Padme' have wished many of these same things, and the one trusted to protect her in all professional arenas have sensed this?

As always...comments are welcome!!

May the Force Be With You All

A Happy Moment Amongst Turbulent Times

Originally posted on October 3, 2006

What's wrong. You're trembling. Anakin to Padme', ROTS
Something wonderful has happened. Ani, I'm pregnant.  Padme' to Anakin, ROTS
That's...that's wonderful. Anakin
What are we going to do? Padme'
We're not going to do anything right now. This is a happy momemt. The happiest moment of my life. Anakin

I have been thinking about this entry now for quite a while, but have been unable to put my thoughts into something that would make sense. However, as I was at a baby shower this weekend, my mind started to work, and that got me to thinking more about this. As we know, the expectation of a baby is a happy moment for most parents. The time from confirmation of the preganacy to the arrival of the baby is one filled with many emotions...shock, happiness, excitement, anxiety, anticipation, etc. Dreams of what the baby will look like, what the baby will do, how the baby will grow all start to develop. By the time the baby arrives in the world, most parents have formed a bond with the child and have a sense of their expectations for the child. Most of the time, the baby arrives without any complications...but that is not always the case. I have worked with premature infants, infants born with such problems as heart defects that may or may not have been detected before birth, children who have developmental problems stemming from an incident during birth, and children who sustained injuries at the hands of their parents or other caregivers. For those whose children are not "perfect," the excitement of childbirth suddenly becomes a time of grief...they are grieving for the "loss" of their "perfect child," for the loss of all their dreams and aspirations. The timing of a pregnancy also has an impact on the acceptance by a parent. For some, the timing is "right"...both parents are at a place in their lives where they are ready for children, where they can support a family. For others, the timing is "wrong"...they are not ready for children, they do not want chidren, or they simply cannot provide for a family.

Now what does all of this have to do with Star Wars, and Anakin and Padme' specifically? Well...Padme' had always wanted a family of her own. She adored her two nieces, and could not wait for the day she had children of her own. However, she was always putting her work and her people above herself...she could not see how life in politics and a family would work together. I am not sure how much Anakin wanted to have a family...I have not seen too much describing this. However, it has been brought to my attention in the past that, in one of the EU novels, Anakin had discovered that a Jedi Master had a wife and family of his own, and could not wait to share this information with Padme'. I wonder...did Anakin's "want" for a family start with this discovery  . From what I understand, this happened around the time Luke and Leia were conceived. So...it would beg to suggest that, at least subconsciously, Anakin also wanted a family.

As we all know, the Clone Wars were in "full force" (no pun intended  ) at this time, and Anakin and Padme' had little time to be together, to discuss their desires for a family. Times were trying for both...and the expectation of a "new baby" added to this. Padme' was worried about what the news of this would do to both of their careers...would she still be able to serve in the Senate, would Anakin still be able to remain a Jedi, and what would the citizens of the galaxy think? How would Anakin react to the news of the pregnancy...would he be happy, upset, indifferent? Thankfully, Anakin, after overcoming the initial shock, reacted with happiness...even saying that *this is a happy moment...the happiest moment of my life.*

But why was this particular moment the happiest? Was marrying the love of his life at least one of the happiest moments, was escaping the "clutches" of Watto one of them? I just wonder how miserable Anakin had been since leaving Tatooine at 9 years of age...could nothing but the thought of having a family of his own break this cycle of unhappiness? If that is what it takes, then I am happy for him. At least for a brief time, all was well with the *galaxy*, and Anakin was happy once more  .

After seeing things this way, I now think that his nightmares about Padme' dying in childbirth were an extension of his anxiety over this change in his life. He always awoke before the baby's "destiny" was determined...so he appeared to be more concerned over what would happen to Padme' than the child. However, he essentially did not have the time to "accept" the child that Padme' had, so his concerns about her were warranted. Saving Padme' would allow him to keep the love of his life and would allow him to have the family he would grow to love. Unfortunately, he could not see past his failure to save his mother, so he sought help from the one he trusted, the one who offered the promise to prevent death.


As always...comments are welcome

May the Force Be With You All

I Can Feel Your Anger...Anger and the Skywalker Men

Originally posted on September 15, 2006

I can feel your anger. It gives you focus...makes you stronger. Palpatine to Anakin, ROTS

I can feel your anger. I am defenseless. Take your weapon. Strike me down with all of your hatred, and your journey towards the Dark Side will be complete. Palpatine, to Luke, ROTJ

I noticed something while watching ROTJ and ROTS a few nights back that I had never noticed before...Palpatine used the line, *I can feel your anger...* with both Anakin and Luke when tempting them with the power of the Dark Side. We all know that anger, fear, and aggression are the traits of the Dark Side...but we also know that these are normal human emotions. What is it about these emotions that make them so wrong, so Dark? Palpatine "feeds" off of these emotions...this is where he gains his strength, his power. But why do the Jedi see the experience of these emotions as so wrong?

We all know that Anakin was full of fear, anger, and aggression...primarily stemming from his days as a slave and his inability to prevent his mother's death ten yeas after leaving her. I am sure he was angry with the Jedi for not allowing him to experience these feelings as he once was able to...and equally angry for them not helping him the way he needed to be helped. If the Jedi had been able to help Anakin work through these feelings rather than telling him they were "forbidden," things may have turned out differently. I am sure other Jedi experienced these feelings, these emotions, but were able to control, to suppress, them. When Anakin came along, he had such emotional baggage, that not helping him to work through these feelings and not helping him to control them, IMO, was detrimental to him and to the Order. Only when Palpatine promised the power to prevent death did Anakin realize that there was more than what the Jedi had to offer. Palpatine gave Anakin permission to act upon his anger, his fear, and his aggressive feelings. With this came power even Anakin did not know how to control...and he succumbed to his Dark feelings to become Darth Vader.

Now, Luke had every right to be full of anger...he was raised by his Aunt and Uncle on Tatooine, knew little of his parents, and was being prevented from enlisting in the Academy. Yoda even said *there is much anger in him* when speaking with Obi-Wan's spirit. What Luke had most of, IMO, was impatience...much like his father's impatience. Luke also had much emotional baggage when he began his Jedi training...but he was helped along in controlling these feelings by both Yoda and Obi-Wan that he was able to not let these emotions to get the better of him. He learned *control* of these feelings, and was able to face his worst fears with the knowledge that controlling one's fear, one's anger would help with focusing on the task at hand. Luke almost gave in to these feelings when Palpatine was tempting him...but, after realizing what had happened to his father, he regained control over his anger and hate, gave himself over to the will of the Force, and saved his father in the process.

Now, the difference between Anakin and Luke here is that of *control*. They both possessed anger, the both possessed fear, but Anakin was unable to control these where Luke was able to learn control. As I said above, had the Jedi helped Anakin work through his anger, his fear, his hate and helped him to learn how to control these feelings, things may have turned out differently. Luke gained mastery over these feelings and learned to control them...although in the "heat of the moment" aboard the second Death Star, he almost gave into temptation. Anger is a human emotion, one we all experience at one time or another. Just imagine if we let our anger control our feelings, our lives...we would live in a totally different world, one where anger and fear would rule. It is just ironic to me that Palpatine could pinpoint and feel this emotion in both Anakin and Luke, father and son, but have two completely different results...one gave in to the temptation while the other did not.


As always comments are welcome.
May the Force Be With You All

Your Presence Is Soothing

Originally posted on September 7, 2006


Don't go. Anakin to Padme', AOTC

I don't want to disturb you. Padme' to Anakin, AOTC

Your presence is soothing. Anakin

Ok...if you do not know when these lines were said, then I am disappointed in you  No, seriously...these were said the morning after Anakin had his nightmare about his mother, when Padme' checks on Anakin on the balcony of the Lake Retreat house. But...when Anakin said these words to Padme', did he just mean *soothing* at that moment or *soothing* every time she was near? I like to believe that he meant every time she was near him. However, there is a time when this soothing effect does not work...but I will discuss that in a moment.

Anakin always appears to be so much more calm when Padme' is around that it seems that she produces, for lack of a better word, a sedative effect on him. Whatever was troubling him moments before has less of an impact the moment she appears to him. Although he cannot always forget his troubles or the troubling visions (i.e. his nightmares about his mother and, later, Padme'), he gains a sense of comfort from her selflessness. He does not want to let this feeling go, so he confesses his love for her and later marries her. However, things are not always what they may seem

Fast forward approximately three years...to the end of the Clone Wars. Anakin comes home, excited to see his wife, his angel, once more. This time, however, she has "news" for him...she is pregnant with his child(ren) and worried about what this means. However, he soon expresses his joy at this wonderful event, and somewhat places her nerves at ease. However, because of his visions of her dying in childbirth, Anakin looks for the power to prevent these visions from coming true. This time, Padme' is not always *soothing,* as evident by Anakin's "shortness" with her during some of their discussions. He finds the power he needs to save her...but that means turning his back on the Jedi and joining the Sith. When it looks like all hope is lost, he pledges himself to Palps/Sidious' teachings...but under the condition of saving Padme's life because *I can't live without her.* By the time Padme' confronts Anakin on Mustafar, he was too far down the Dark path to be saved, even by his angel, his one source of comfort. When Vader/Anakin realizes that Padme' is gone, he eventually completely gives in to his anger and buries the feelings he once had.

Now, jump ahead twenty or so years when Anakin's son, Luke enters his life...a son he had thought died years before along with his wife. Now, the tables are turning, and the Darkness is beginnning to break in to Light. Because Luke was selfless like Padme' and carried with him her dying words of *there is good in him*, his presence allowed the "man" who was Vader to begin losing the battle with the "man" who was Anakin. Padme's presence in Luke more than likely brought back those comforting, soothing feelings Anakin once felt around his one *True Love." I also have a feeling that Leia exuded an aura of comfort around Vader...maybe that is why he could not allow her to be executed  Anyway...the love Anakin and Padme' shared all those years before came flooding back to Anakin through the presence and love of his children. So, essentially in the end, Padme's *soothing* presence reappeared to bring Anakin back to the Light, allowing him to join her once more

As always...comments are welcome. May the Force Be With You All...Always

Luke--Anakin's Final "Test?"

Originally posted on August 22, 2006


You must confront Vader again. Obi-Wan to Luke, ROTJ

Sometime within the past couple of weeks a comment was made in someone's blog (sorry...I cannot remember who made the comment or who wrote the blog) regarding Luke being Anakin's final test to becoming a Jedi Master. The more I thought about it, the more it began making sense.

I always thought of this as Luke's final test in becoming a Jedi Master...if he confronts Vader and defeats the Sith, he is worthy of being a Jedi Master. However, could Luke have been sent by both Yoda and Obi-Wan to test Anakin and bring him back from the Dark Side to join them among the Jedi Masters of old? Could the memory of Padme's dying words to Obi-Wan have resurfaced with Luke's expression of faith in his father's goodness? Could the words *you must confront Vader again* been Obi-Wan's way of saying to Luke "if you confront, rather than kill, Vader, your father may return to the Light and fulfill his destiny as the Chosen One and finally be able to become the Master he always wanted to be?"   These are questions that have been going through my mind since I read that comment in that blog.

As I have said before, I believe that Anakin never truly died when Vader took over...the "Anakin persona" became buried deep within the evil that was Vader until Luke appeared in his life, reminding him of his past life as Anakin and all that meant. I have written about how Luke carried Padme's dying words with him until the time was right for them to "resurface" for Luke to redeem Anakin. I often wonder if Obi-Wan ever thought of those words, *there is good in him...*, during his time watching over Luke on Tatooine. I am sure he had to think about that every once in a while. By the time we meet "old Ben" in ANH, much time had passed since that fateful duel on Mustafar, and he appeared to have no hope for the good in his old Padawan. His sadness for the "days of old" was apparent as he told Luke about his father...and then again as he told Luke that Vader betrayed and murdered his father. It appeared that Obi-Wan wanted Luke to be trained as a Jedi, to *learn the ways of the Force*, in order to "revive" the Jedi Order, to show the Sith that the Jedi were not dead, and to have Luke destroy the Sith, something his father could not do. However, could Obi-Wan's luring of Luke to the Jedi ways have been his way of showing that he had hope that there was still good in Anakin, and that Luke's eventual confronting him would bring him back? It makes me wonder if he had a "double-edged" purpose for training Luke...restoring the Jedi Order and testing Anakin's ability to overcome his anger and rejoin the Jedi as a Master.

But be patient, Anakin. It will not take long before the Council makes you a Jedi Master. Obi-Wan to Anakin, ROTS

But patience was something Anakin did not have at the time of his downfall.   Had Anakin focused on his task of spying on the Chancellor rather than finding a way to save Padme', he may have been made a Master long before Luke was needed. Anakin was losing confidence in the Jedi Order by the end of the Clone Wars, and his inpatience grew as the days passed before his turn...he did not have time to wait until the Council decided his fate to learn how to save Padme' from his visions. He heard the promises of the power to save others from Palpatine, and, in haste, decided to join him and learn his knowledge of that power. That decision cost him everything...his wife, his friends, his family, his self. The one thing he wanted most from the Jedi, to be a Master, would never be realized...until Luke confronted him on Endor and the second Death Star. During that confrontation, he kept referring to how Obi-Wan had taught Luke well but that there was no match for the power of the Dark Side. However, Luke's persistence in staying in the Light, of vowing to save Anakin, finally broke the "veil of darkness" surrounding Anakin and made him the master of his destiny. In fulfilling his role as the Chosen One to destroy the Sith, he passed his final "test" and became a Jedi Master...being able to join Yoda and Obi-Wan as a Force ghost.

What do you all think...was Luke sent to test Anakin, to see if he was truly redeemable and worthy of becoming a Master, even after twenty-plus years? Or am I going too far out on a limb here with this thought?

As always, comments are welcome. May the Force Be With You!!